A Woman's Work Is Never Done!
How often do we hear that one? These days, women are busier than ever. Most women are not only working a full time job, but caring for spouse and family and home as well. Money seems to get harder to find (that is the topic of another musing), and that means working harder for less income. I know some women who work two jobs while caring for their families. When does it all end? And what are the side effects of this type of lifestyle?
We all know that fast food-itis is rampant, which of course leads to subclinical malnutrition and physical symptoms, as well as obesity. People don't eat right, and they aren't healthy. Working harder seems to mean less time for exercise. So people get even less healthy. It also means less quality time with those we love. Stress is at an all-time high, and everyone now accepts that stress leads to physical symptoms, too.
Women and intuition
So how does this relate to intuition? Women are generally credited with being more intuitive than men. This is partly due to a recognition that intuition is a ‘feminine' attribute. However, everyone has intuition, as we mentioned in an earlier article. But women tend to find it easier to access and use their intuition than men do.
In our society, which values science and rational thinking over intuition, women's intuition is scoffed at. I myself had many experiences of this. I remember in a past relationship mentioning to my then-husband that the car was making a funny noise. (This is common among women; being able to notice strange noises that men can't hear.) Bob did not hear the noise, though it seemed very evident to my ears. Within two days, the car broke down. It created some inconvenience, and it would have spared us a lot if we had taken the car in when I first heard the sound.
The next time I heard a sound was the washing machine. This time, he didn't make fun of me. But he still didn't act on it. A couple days later, the washing machine broke down. It wasn't a big deal, but the experience made an impression on him. The next time I heard a noise was in the film processor at work, and he immediately went to the boss and demanded a serviceman be dispatched, as he did not want to machine down at all.(By the way, he still couldn't hear anything weird.) Turned out there was something wrong with it, and we got it fixed with no down time. My stock went up. From then on, if I heard a noise, it got acted on, even if no one else could hear it.
Unfortunately, most of us are not reinforced positively for using our intuition. We are scoffed at and ignored. Our training and education teach us to ignore information that comes in to us intuitively. Yet as women, we tend to have pretty good intuition. So what do we do? We learn to ignore it ourselves. Just like a rattling noise you can't do anything about, our intuition whispers to us constantly. And we respond just as we would to background noise. We filter it out.
How do we filter it out? My personal opinion is that women stay super busy in part so that they don't have the time or peace and quiet to hear their intuition. When your head is filled with a dozen priorities that need to be taken care of right now, that provides white noise to drown out your Inner Voice. We focus on how busy we are doing things like housework, errands and tasks at our job, as if they are what matter. We become tired and stressed, and that makes it harder still to hear our intuition talking to us.
Signs you believe work is never done…
Because we are not listening, we don't get the useful messages that would save us trouble. What follows is frustration, anger and resentment. We feel disconnected and unsupported. We also lose sight of the big picture.
How often do you hear women saying, “I have too much on my plate now.” “I don't have time for ___________.” “I'll get back to you later.” And be honest, when does it ever get better? Never.
I hear the above excuses all the time. I even have acquaintances who will respond to an email by saying they don't have time to respond to my email….You can see what happens. Women end up being stuck in high stress situations with no obvious way out, and their health deteriorates. They overeat, smoke and drink or use various types of drugs to deal with the emotions that go along with the stress of being ‘stuck'. They can't see any way out. For them, the reality truly is that their work is never done. They aren't in touch with their intuition, which would guide them.
What if there was a simple way out? What if most of the things you are so busy doing didn't really matter? What if you can get rid of the belief is never done? Do this exercise. Make a list of all the things you feel you have to do today. If you like, make another list, that one of everything you feel you must accomplish in the next week. Now make another list:
- I am the only one who could possibly ever do this?
- I could never hire this out, even if I had money
- The world will end if I don't do this
- Someone will die if I don't do this
- No one else could be trained to do this
- I can't trust anyone else on earth to do this
- No one will help me do this
- My life will be ruined if this does not get done
Look at the list of tasks you have for the day. Say the first one out loud. Then go down the above list and see if any of those statements are true. What you will find out is that although you have taken on certain tasks as your responsibility, there is no real reason you should HAVE to do them all yourself, or even in some cases, do them in the time frame you have chosen.
For example, I know a lot of women who surround themselves with useless family members so they can be totally in control. They then have to do everything themselves, as their family members are useless. It is a side effect of keeping total control. Women who support their children AND spouse are an example. And much of the time, the spouse is NOT a househusband. He doesn't cook or clean or run errands or care for the children.
Consider the following…
This throws all the typical daily errands on the woman's shoulders, if she chooses to accept it. If you find yourself in this situation, you would be wise to consider a couple of things:
- Is being in control really worth having to do everything yourself? What are you afraid of? Why do you want to make the key decisions, and how is this stressful situation your comfort zone?
- If your significant other and grown kids can all pass on doing housework, cooking, shopping and other errands, why do you feel so obliged to do them yourself? They seem to get by without doing them. So can you. Maybe you are going to need to wash your clothes and cook your meals and clean your tiny part of the house, but who says you have to do it for them? Of course, some of you have manifested partners and children who literally cannot do certain things. Then, it's time to think about hiring some of the chores out or letting them go.
- Look at your list. So many of the things you have on it are PERSONAL PREFERENCE. Paying bills on time or going to work are a given. But doing chores on a certain schedule isn't. If you are overloaded, then get your kids to help. If they won't, then don't let them have privileges that add to your chores, like being on a sports team or in band or whatever. Create some teamwork. Get some help. Learn to lighten up and quit demanding too much of yourself. So what if the house is dusty? Who cares?
Anyway, these are some things to think about. If you are uptight or obsessive compulsive, that can be changed. Trust me. Your stress level is partly your intuition trying to get your attention. Pay attention to it. Lighten your load, whatever it takes.
It is very important to have ME time. And it is very important to have quiet time to just relax and get in touch with your intuition. If you don't have time for those things once a day, then please change something. Skip dusting. Quit that non-paying position you took for your church or club. Make your mental and physical health your top priority, and start finding time to listen to your intuition. SLOW DOWN. If you do that, you will get messages more clearly. Then act on them.
It will not be easy to change your habits. It is simple, but not easy. But if you want to have less stress and greater health and happiness, you need to follow your intuition. To be aware of what it is saying, you need to slow down and BE QUIET now and then.
So right now, stop arguing with what I am saying. (If you want to believe that work is never done, then go right ahead and be correct… or you could be happy instead!) Schedule some quiet time for yourself daily. Maybe just 15-30 minutes morning or evening to take a quiet walk outside or soak in the tub and relax. You will be surprised how much easier it is to access your intuition if you quit trying to be Superwoman.
For those of you who are not the obsessively busy female type, you probably know someone who is. Do her a favor and urge her to slow down, find some quiet time and get in touch with her intuition. She is probably afraid of what it will say:
- Get another job. This one is bad for your health.
- Move to another location. This one is not making you happy.
- Get out of this relationship. It is harming your health and well-being or holding you back from reaching your goals.
- Change your lifestyle for more healthy habits.
- Take better care of yourself.
- Love and accept yourself.
Your intuition knows what is healthy for you and what isn't. Quit being afraid to admit you need to change something in your life. It can be easier than you think, and if you do it, you WILL be glad you did. Get some help and make the change. Good luck.
If you've got rid of the ‘work is never done' belief, share how you did it in the comments section below.